Heartaches are for pussies.

I don't even know how to start this off.... welp i'm in love with this girl. always have and unfortunately always will be. I want to hold her, kiss her, i want for her to just give me one chance. It's been 2 years and i'm sick of waiting. I'm one heartless mother fucker let me tell you that because i really don't give a flying fuck about anyone's existence. My last break-up was horrible because i couldn't control my mother fucking hormones LIKE ALWAYS! (i'm such a dick) and i really loved that chick but fuck it. life goes on right? Right! but life doesn't go on the way it was going on. it starts to become hell, something you dread, it's like you're a lifeless zombie in a human world. Sometimes i want to rip my own heart out but then again there is no heart. I've turned into the person that i thought i would never turn into. it sucks but there's nothing i can do about it. you might be reading this and thinking omfg she's such a delusional bitch and that i'm just a whore. but no. i'm just so use to fucking bitches and hiding my feelings that, that's what kind of lifestyle i live. But then there she is, making me feel all fuzzy inside and i just want to kill myself because i can't stop that feeling. She has like this magnetic field where i'm attracted to her whenever i see her and i can't repel. Yeah i'm too young, we're all too young for heartaches but you just can't help it when you see the person you want to spent the rest of your life with. sometimes i wish i was a robot but ehhhh.